Posts by TJ - iAmCleared2Land

18

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

by sacolton in

jw
friends

i love everyone!

have a great day!.

one watchtower to rule them all,.

Valentine's Day is what makes ex-JW's married to current-JW's SPECIAL. You see, I must be the only guy in the world privileged to be IN TROUBLE with his wife for REMEMBERING that today was Valentines Day, and buying her candy and gifts.

I'm serious! She's pissed at me over it. Yet she was okay with me giving her birthday gifts, and she gave me a card on my birthday. What the hell!?!? It's not like it's Halloween for pity's sake!!

I'm not mad... I feel SORRY for her. She's sitting home CRYING... called me to say that my gift was "a slap in the face". ?!?!

Anyway, to all you pagans celebrating a holiday with "Christian" origins... I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

10

Have you found Jesus?

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

a man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

he proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

the preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "are you ready to find jesus?

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at
the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?" The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again -- - but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?!"

115

My story: "Pop!" goes the Little Circuit Breaker

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

jw
friends

i guess it's about time i write my story.

i've put this off for a long time... primarily becuase, while i thought my story was bad, i've read so many worse and heart-rending stories here.

i think, though, there is some therapeutic value in 'letting it all out' with others who know what 'it' was like.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

While cleaning up my computer today, I found a text file created on 11/13/2005... since the file was simply named with Dad-Monster's name.txt, I was curious what it contained. Opening it, I found it contained the raw notes I typed while I talked on the phone with one of the elders that had been on his committee. He had called me to tell me the result of the appeal committee. Here's the notes, unedited (except that I changed the elder's name to "Jim" to protect his identity. Comments will follow, later:

Society never saw or read the letters us kids wrote to the original committee; Legal said they didn't need to see them.
Never seen an appeal committee run this way before--all 3 elders from same hall, all knew Dad.
Dad didn't last the 24 hours Jim gave him, was right that he'd move halls--Dad announced he's moving to Sunset Cong.
Jim said that the Society knows Dad is "lawsuit happy" and looking for a free ride--feels that the monetary impact of a lawsuit for DFing him on a matter they couldn't prove beyond the shadow of a doubt may have had an impact on the decision that was ultimately reached. Shook Jim's faith a bit too, but knows he has to trust that Jehovah will eventually make matters come to full completion--could be more involved than just Dad (these other elders?) that needs to come to light.
Grieved over what us kids have been going through--literal pain.
Never seen somebody so haughty, wicked, evil than Dad... arrogant attitude about everything, "how dare you do this to me".
Not reproved in any way. No restrictions.

I find it interesting that we heard that "Jim" had stepped aside as an elder after all this... I presume it was directly related to the disillusionment he experienced on this case.

TJ

1

Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, president bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.

president bush went up to the man and said, "has anyone told you that you look like moses?

the man didn't answer.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, "Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?"

The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.

The president said, "Moses!" in a loud voice.

The man just sta red ahead, never acknowledging the president. The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, "Am I crazy or does that man not look like Moses to you? The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.

"Well," said the president, "every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak. Watch!" Again the president yelled, "Moses!" and again the man ignored him.

The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"

He man leaned over and whispered back, "Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses. The last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with no oil."

2

My daughter's beautiful poem

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

my daughter had an assignment to write a poem with 26 lines, each starting with a letter of the alphabet.

it had to be coherent and make sense.

i was blown away with the beautiful word picture she came up with, and wanted to share it with y'all:.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Thanks, A&W. She's a lovely 15 (freshman in high school), will be 16 in April.

2

My daughter's beautiful poem

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

my daughter had an assignment to write a poem with 26 lines, each starting with a letter of the alphabet.

it had to be coherent and make sense.

i was blown away with the beautiful word picture she came up with, and wanted to share it with y'all:.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

My daughter had an assignment to write a poem with 26 lines, each starting with a letter of the alphabet. It had to be coherent and make sense. I was blown away with the beautiful word picture she came up with, and wanted to share it with y'all:

As I walk through the meadows I listen.
Bees buzzing by,
Crickets singing their sad song,
Dusk colored bunnies jumping through the grass,
Even the wolf offers up his voice to the stars.
Frogs in the creek sing to the
Grinning Cheshire Cat moon
Hiding in the trees.
I know this song is not for my ears,
Just those of the animals who are the composers.
Know this fact well, I do, but
Listening to this song
Moves my heart.
Not seen but heard,
Owls sing their
Proud melody.
Questioning our world below
Reaching out through the blackness
Stars above our heads
Twinkle in tune to their own song.
Understood by all in the chorus
Very beautiful are the words
Which I do not understand.
Xylophones, nor harps, nor all
Your beautiful instruments can mimic the
Zenful symphony of nature.

12

Do they still call you "for your time" for this month?

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

jw
friends

we got woke up this morning (again) by a call from one of the elders or his ms assistant, looking for "our time report" for this past month.

i've been out for over two years (faded), my wife and the kids haven't attended hardly any meetings since the memorial... talk about clueless.

no "shepherding calls" on her (thank goodness!

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Oompa, that's hilarious... gives me an idea, too... if you still attend the KH (I don't), fill out fake reports with exaggerated hours and placements. Just pick names off the lists on the information board. :-) Kind of mean to do to the poor brother that has to sort it all out, but funny as heck, too.

53

Upcoming Elders Schooling

by Questions1 in

it's no secret that the "organization" has increased it's cia, national security clerance only super-secret attitude in regards to the elder school that is going to be conducted soon.

a few days ago, i had a conversation with an elder who has been in the fold all of his life practically.

in keeping with the conversation style of jws, the gentleman told me that nobody knows what exactly will be taught at the meetings, but in his backdoor conversations with some brothers who seem to be tuned into the bethel's officially, unofficial, communications network, the elders are going to be taught "post-armageddon" teachings.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Have the dates and locations for the 2008 schools been announced to the BOE's? I want to know when the one in my location is being held (I know where it would be, just want dates).

12

Do they still call you "for your time" for this month?

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

jw
friends

we got woke up this morning (again) by a call from one of the elders or his ms assistant, looking for "our time report" for this past month.

i've been out for over two years (faded), my wife and the kids haven't attended hardly any meetings since the memorial... talk about clueless.

no "shepherding calls" on her (thank goodness!

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

We got woke up this morning (again) by a call from one of the elders or his MS assistant, looking for "our time report" for this past month. I've been out for over two years (faded), my wife and the kids haven't attended hardly ANY meetings since the Memorial... talk about clueless. No "shepherding calls" on her (thank goodness!) but they still want to make sure their report for the CO looks good (can't have too many people go inactive, you know!), so they call and harrass her for her to turn in her report on the phone.

I think she knew what the call was about too... the phone rang, woke us up, she looked at the caller ID and said "UGGGH!!" and pressed the button that stops the ringing and sent the call to VM. Two minutes later, one of our girls is bringing her ringing CELL phone up the stairs... he called both lines. She got out of bed, frustrated at being woke up over "her time report", and left the room to take the call. Don't know how that part went.

Anyway, do they still call you? How long does it take before they "get it" and stop? Or did you have to tell them to bugger off?

1

Lewinsky and Kaczynski

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

the washington post runs a weekly contest in its style section called the "style invitational.".

the requirements in a recent week were to use the two words "lewinsky" (the intern) and "kaczynski" (the unabomber) in the same limerick.. .

now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the "Style Invitational."

The requirements in a recent week were to use the two words "Lewinsky" (the Intern) and "Kaczynski" (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.

Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.